Do you believe you can change your future by healing your past?
Well, I do hope you will read my blog post, to see how it IS possible. Go on what have you go to loose but a few moments of your time and you could gain some really helpful insights?
But first let me explain a thing or two about our reality and our minds!…….
Our Mind Can’t Tell The Difference Between Reality and Fantasy!
Did you know that your mind can’t tell the difference between reality and fantasy (visualisations)? Don’t belief me? Please stick with me and read on – I think you will find this compelling proof !
I’d theoreticaly known for years about the concept that the mind can’t tell the difference, and a few years ago I had a direct experience that brought this message home loud and clear. It happened while I was watching a film in a 3D cinema (Thorpe Park). The film was of a ride on a roller coaster.
OMG, every time the roller coaster reached it’s summit and then dropped down the other side of the dip, with great speed, my stomach literally did a flip, I felt sick and I found myself screaming, just as if I was ON the roller coaster. My body really thought I was ON the ride.
That was evidence enough for me that indeed our minds can’t tell the difference.
How Healing My Past Changed My Future (Experiences)!
So with that premise in place, that we can’t tell the difference between reality and visualisations, I’d love to share with you how I changed my future by healing my past.
My Fear of Hospitals and Medical Procedures
I’d been terrified of hospitals since my last operation about 18 years ago. My fear was quite overwhelming and caused me all sorts of difficulties – the main ones being the ‘what ifs’ – What if I had to go in hospital again? What if as I got older I would need another operation or a hospital stay? How would I survive in hospital without someone taking care of me the way I did my (late) Mum?
You see back in 2009 I nursed my Mum for 9 weeks when she was in hospital. I say nurse, of course the nursing staff were there doing what they could, but I needed to make sure that she got at least 2 meals a day. So I’d be in the hospital from 11.30am to 7 or 8 at night, 6 days a week – (exhausting). And to ensure that she was being taken care of ‘properly’.
You see that’s what fear, fear of the hospital and the (lack of) care, did to me, it made me want to control EVERYTHING!!! I ‘needed’ to ensure everything was being done to the very best for my Mum.
Hospital Stays 2018
So fast forward to October 2018, when I had to be taken into hospital in the early hours of the morning. Thankfully I had no fear at all. I had done alot of ‘Journey’ healing work around my past hospital experiences and I was in so much pain, excruciating pain – I could do nothing but surrender to the pain and yearn for some pain relief.
After several different types of painkillers I finally fell into a deep sleep – what a relief, the pain had finally eased. The morphine had kicked in and I was blissfully fully in my body and at ease like never before! I was eventually taken up to a ward for further investigations.
Then wham the pain came back and nothing they gave me would relieve it – I was crouching on the floor, leaning on any available furniture in an attempt to get relief – yet all the while I was in pain I was having memories of something that had happened to me at the end of a heailng ‘process’ (this is the term used for the sessions we do in The Journey) .
While I was attending The Journey Practitioner training a couple of years ago – as part of our training, we get to practice giving and receiving ‘processes’ on each other. As you can imagine over the training, which took me 5 years, I’ve given and received hundreds of processes!!! So it was very strange that this one particular memory should surface, as I had done several over the years relating to my medical/hospital experiences.
The memory that came up really vividly was one that had happened during the future integration part of the process. This is where you travel forward in time experiencing what it feels like now that you are free from that trauma, pain or emotional hurts. The vision I’d seen in the future integration was that I was in the pre-theatre room being prepared to go to surgery. My bed was encircled by the whole operating team and I was leading them in a prayer and asking for all to be guided through Grace and ease. It was a very beautiful experience and felt so right.
I realised that this memory had come so that I could ‘live out’ this vision. I felt it was guiding me to ask my surgical team if they would allow me to lead them in a prayer just before going in for the surgery. I had such a strong knowing that this is what I had to do. Eventually, many drugs later I feel back to sleep.
When I woke I found myself thinking ‘I can’t possibly do that, I can’t ask the doctors to do a prayer’ and so I began to let the idea of asking to do a prayer go.
I was just about to fall asleep again when I realised that it was my dear old friend my ‘Gremlin’ (my name for my mind/ego part, that likes to keep me small, safe, not open to changings things or trying new ones) coming up with ideas why I couldn’t ask them to do a prayer. For example: they’re too busy; they’ll think I’m weird; the operating theatres are just too busy and they’ll tell me so in an off-handish way….. blah.. blah… blah.
Trust Your Intuititon
I realised that my intuition, my guidance, was so strong that I just had to ask, and I did. The anaesthetist wrote down my request but didn’t comment. He took off saying he’d see me in theatre. Umm I wasn’t sure if that was a yes, or no. But went off back to sleep until I was nudged awake to be told I was going down to theatre.
As I entered the pre-theatre room I saw a few people going about their business. A lovely angelic Nurse spoke to me, asking me my name and date of birth. I replied and gently said to her “Did they tell you I wanted to do a prayer first?” She said “Oh yes that’s why we are all here for you”.
Well I couldn’t believe it, as I looked up I saw all these blue coated people standing around my bed staring at me (about 14 of them, yikes) – I was so surprised, I panicked and thought gosh what am I going to say – thankfully the angelic Nurse went on to ask me, “Would you like us to introduce ourselves individually?” – I said “Oh yes please” – thinking that would give me a minute to gather my thoughts – you see I hadn’t given a thought to what I was going to say, der!, lol!!
Then it was my time to speak, I remember saying “Thank you for honouring me in this way, and thank you for taking whatever path you have taken to bring you here to be able to support me in this way, thank you”. I then said something along the lines of believing in a higher power and that I didn’t want to push my beliefs on them, but asked that they be open to allowing the surgery to be guided by a higher power, and Grace for the highest and best outcome to occur.
Wow what an experience it was. Of course moments later I was under anaesthetic and completely unaware till I came round a short while later.
I lay there in recovery wondering if any time had passed? Had the op even been done yet? If you’ve had an operation you’ll know what I mean?
A Nurse came and confirmed it was all done and I lay there coming round from the anaesthetic. All I could think about was how they had honoured me and allowed me to do my prayer. WOW. I thought what lovely people they were, and just marvelled at the whole experience.
The ‘Gifts’ of My Experience – The Learning
It was in the early hours of the following morning that I woke and couldn’t wait to journal about my experiences. It was while writing my journal that I got to understand the real learnings, the gifts of this experience. They were:
- To completely trust my intuition and guidance
- To listen and respect my ‘Gremlin’ and to choose love over fear
- To speak up for me needs
- Not let fear override my intuition
- That I had healed and cleared my old limiting beliefs and behaviours
- Evidence that I had released old emotions from previous procedures
- That when I listen to and respect myself others treat me that way too
- The biggest lesson I realised was……..
Don’t Let Fear Dicatate Your Life
I realised must always honour myself, my needs and NEVER, never let fear dictate what actions I take or decisions I make.
Decisions from fear never work out well in my experience – of course there is always learning whether something goes well or not, but its nicer isn’t it if things go well for us?
I also felt something like a ‘clicking into place’ deep inside my being – its hard to describe in words, but what I can say was that the experience wasn’t only about the insights I got, but also a physical, or energetic shift too, for which I’m truly grateful.
I felt so empowered, honoured and dare I say a bit chuffed with myself for not listening to the naysayer of my Gremlin, for trusting myself AND for speaking up and going with my intuition.
I also wondered if my actions had in anyway opened something for the medics? The possibility perhaps that all procedures start with a prayer, who knows. I’d like to think so!! And wouldn’t that be wonderful?
Who’d have thought a visit to hospital would have brought such insights and such an impactful healing and shift?
Six weeks later I went in for the second part of the procedure, and once again I felt very at ease, I was very trusting of the staff and what was going to happen and was treated and looked after really well.
The Moral of My Experiences
So the moral of this tale is that it is possble to change our future by healing the past. Off course we can’t change the event that happened, BUT we can change our reaction to it, and that’s when the healing and freedom comes.
When we release or negative emotions, beliefs, and patterns from our being, our future choices and actions can be driven by intuition, love and self-respect and not from fear, or trauma or limitation.
Is Fear Guiding Your Life?
Are you letting fear run your life?
Is there something you know you’d like to change but just haven’t been able to?
If you’d like to explore how I could help you free yourself, drop me an email to arrange a free Clarity call.